Dreams and False Alarms

Screeching Halt Part II

Normally I would respond to each of you, but I just can't summon the energy. 

Here is the deal: The coordinator presented the high BMI as no big deal, just would require a bit more medication.  Husband wanted to talk directly to the doctor to get reassurance from Dr Calm herself.  Well, she didn't deliver. She said with a higher BMI the eggs are harder to retrieve (sometimes requires another doctor to manually manipulate the abdomen during egg retrieval), sometimes fewer are produced, and sometimes there are anesthesia issues (breathing problems because of heavier chest?)

Before anyone tells me about their story, or anything, here is the thing : She did not say it WOULD happen that we would get fewer eggs, she said it COULD happen.  And we are absolutely in no position to take any risks, emotionally or financially. I've made all the arguments, mustered all the data, but since we are so so far from having an ounce of buffer, we can't take the risk.

I am heartbroken. The donor feels horrible to have put us in this position, she had no idea that this could be a problem. She went through a lifestyle change (changed jobs), and stopped exercising, and put on about 45lbs.  She is really motivated to lose the weight (and is probably out there running up and down the block), but it may be too little to late. No, it is too little to late. For her to safely lose 20lbs, it would take 3 or 4 months.  Ugh. Why did no one ask her about her weight? She could have lost at least 10lbs in the 6 weeks we've been dicking around with paperwork. Argh.

The only bright spot is that a donor we liked at our clinic, who was snatched away for a shared cycle that fell through, is screened, on the pill and raring to go. This seems like a no brainier. But damn. I like our Darling Donor. I'm attached. I'm finding it hard to move on.

This is going to be one tough weekend.

Lots of tears and bags I thought I'd finally put in the closet have all toppled out on top of me, and I feel flattened.

Inch by Inch

I got an email from the coordinator saying two things:
Antral Follicle count is 16 (they only count follicles that are over a certain size, so this is a good number!)

And our donors BMI has increased since she last donated.  She's a bit on the short side, so it doesn't take much for it to get high. They said they could see her ovaries easily, but that it might take a bit more medication to stimulate her.

I was a bit worried, but now I'm back to being calm. The coordinator reassured me that the reason they like to have the BMI lower is that that sometimes they can't see the ovaries. I know that some clinics say it affects egg production, there have been plenty of women who've done IVF with their own eggs who had high BMI's and made lots of eggs and got pregnant, so I'm not going to sweat it.

She had her genetic screening done, and the results should be back next week, then she'll start her period around the 24th of April, and start lupron with that cycle! SO COOL!

I'm going to take a pill break next week. The choice was to not take a break and go straight from pills to lupron, but I'm worried about being over suppressed and not getting a good lining for the fresh transfer, so a break from the 19th to the 23rd, and that will likely get us all nice and coordinated!

I'm just going to let myself assume that her other two clinics did fragile X and Cystic Fibrosis screening and she passed and that the rest of 94 chromosomes are going to be OK. Our sperm donor passed the expanded Jewish panel with flying colors (that's over and above the 96), so hopefully there are no weird undiscovered outliers. Amen.

I'm in my usual kind of productive in-between-cycles hibernation.  I'm reading, and commenting,and so grateful that you are all still following this long drawn out saga. Oy.

Moving Right Along!

I just got the call from our clinic coordinator! Our Darling Donors FSH is 5.4 and her E2 is 44.3! WHOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She's going to start all her testing, and I get to start the pill sometime this weekend. The basic outline is this:

Me on the pill from now until she gets her period at the end of April.

We both stay on the pill for a bit into May.

We start suppression in early to mid May.

She starts stims in mid May, I start estrogen.

Retrieval will be in early June, transfer 5 days later!

Now to send a big old check off to the donor agency, and, uh, maybe do a little dietary modification so I don't have to buy another set of fat pants?

Color me really really pleased.