Stolen Moment!

Ack! 

I never wanted to be one of those bloggers who gets her baby(ies) and disappears! But alas, since my iphone is older than the hills, and my typepad app needs to be reinstalled, I have become that blogger. 

Ace has been home since Feb 21, one day before their due date, and we brought Juice home on March 7th.  

Holy moly, it has been nuts. Crazy, scary at times, and wonderful.  The crazy is the basic reality of caring for two infants, the scary is the week that neither of them wanted to eat, before the reflux meds were on board, and the wonderful is the sweet cuddly reality of our boys.

I'll post some pictures from my phone...I think. It also won't talk to my computer anymore, so I can't get pics that way.

Ace is an intense little guy. He's the type who gets upset about being upset, all the same, he's pretty easy to reach, and weighing in at 12+ lbs!  He has had a horrific case of nipple confusion, and so have I. His resistance to the breast has worn me down many a time, but through some very strategic work, mostly on his father's part, he's turned into a less reluctant, nearly enthusiastic breastfeeder. The true test of Ace's enjoyment of his food is if he 'sings' to it; he's now singing to my breast, so I'm guessing I'm in.

Juice, the one who gave us such fits of fear and worry in the NICU is actully pretty mellow. He gets upset, you meet his need, and he calms down. He has these adorable little noices taht sound a lot like our cats! There are times when we think hes cryign when he's actully just sort of hollering, kitten like. VERY cute.  He is an avid breast feeder, and none too shabby with the bottle.

After all of my incredible effort in the area of milk production while they were in the NICU, things sort of fell apart when we all got home. Firstly, the reality of keeping up an every 2 hours pumping schedule when you have an infant to deal with, let alone 2, is kinda crazy.  Secondly, it turns out I had/have an entrenched yeast and staph issue with my nipples, plus nerve damage from pumping with bad flanges (Med.ela flanges didn't work for my shape, but pumpin pals saved my sanity ), as well as their short frenulum latches combined with nipple shield 'abuse'. I'm finally working my way of of that with the help of APNO cream, gentian violet, diflucan and supplements.  Now my supply is down, so I'm going to try golacta.  Hope that works. Also, my left breast, well nipp.le is just a little wonky and hard to hold onto, but the nipple shield hurts, so that's the next bridge to cross.

I've also really really really been struggling with a reemergence of my fibromyalgia, which is of course tipped off by lack of deep restorative sleep. It's been a movable feast of joint pain--not wonderful, very demoralizing, and physically exhausting.

The hope is that we can fully transition to breastfeeding in the next couple of weeks, and I can stop pumping overnight, which is what robs me of a good hour and half of their sleep cycle...which is killing me.

They are so different, and so wonderful. Ace is dark and stormy, and MASSIVE! He's so thick! A little brick of a boy. Juice is sunny and pale, and slender and can fold himself up into a little package that fits just about anywhere.  

I am so so so grateful that we had the resources, both financial and emotional to take this road.  Friends are starting down the IVF road, and their story is quite different than ours, but I so hope they are the lucky ones who do one cycle and have their baby. All those years of trying, and failing, and picking ourselves and living to do battle another day has taken a toll on us. We are good, we are solid, but we are scarred, and those scars, while not interfering with our day to day loving of the boys crop up and surprise us.

I hope against hope that it isn't as long between posts, but I can't promise much. Hell, I can't even get a shower more than once every 5 days! I hear the peeps of my darling boys. Time for vitamin bottles, pj's and bed time. Pretty awesome.

Comments

[Summer]

I love following the boys on FB, but damn I miss your posts!!

Forgive yourself a little for not posting more often. This is a crazy, crazy time with a lot of sleep deprivation and add pumping on top of it all and I'm surprised you are blogging anything at all.

Also, hang in there. None of this will last forever (the good stuff as well as the bad stuff) and believe it or not in a couple of years you might even look back on these days with nostalgia...

[Michele]

They sound like Bobby and Maya, in their differing appearances!
Like Summer, I love your FB updates, but am so glad to see an update!

[Sara]

It's great to hear from you, but I totally understand about the long silences. Your priority right now is your CHILDREN!!! (God I love the sound of that.)

[a]

Can't believe you even had time to post this! I'm glad the boys are doing well, and I hope the boob issues improve.

[BWUB plus one]

So great to see a post from you! And even better to hear how wonderfully your boys are doing. I hope to see pictures soon! Your breastfeeding experience - or rather, nipple torture - sounds awful. I don't know how you managed to forge on (well, yes I do...those sweet baby boys inspire you!). You're doing a fantastic job. And you will shower more regularly again in this lifetime. I promise!