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Sock it too Me 2009!

« Wingeing my way through | Main | Both sides now; or maybe soon. »

February 10, 2010


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Ugh, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I was lucky enough to cycle at a clinic with a large in-house pool of donors, so I was able to make my decisions based entirely on their past-performance. I can't even imagine how frustrating it must be to feel like you're operating with only half the background information! Thinking of you, hoping you can get through this maddening part as quickly and painlessly as possible.


Gah - sorry that you have to deal with that - I hope the project keeps you nice and distracted!


How incredibly frustrating. I can't imagine why people would keep all that information to themselves. Weird. Deep breaths, I guess - that's all you can do. Good luck!


Sounds like the upside and downside for being able to choose a donor. In Europe, you basically get a brief description of the donor who is willing to donate and you either say yes or no. If no, they come to you again when another is available. So in a way it takes all the 'burden of choice' away. Upsides and downsides in both approaches but either way I hope you get some green lights soon.

Sweet Georgia

Wow, sorry. I had no idea that it worked like that. We're cycling in the Czech Republic and pretty much don't get a choice. I gave my list of must haves and the doctor tries to match that. I actually loved this approach since it took all of the hair pulling out of the equation. Good luck with your search!


I'm sorry there are so many twists and turns with this. I've never worked with them but this agency is the only one my RE felt comfortable recommeding when we've discussed DE. Maybe it's worth a look?


Best of luck hon! There are lots of donor agencies you could go with, and if this is your only choice I'd check into them. You are doing great, this is an agonizing part of the process but don't take the first person that comes along (like I did, and really regretted). Unfortunatly, getting matched with a donor can take a long time, but if you are proactive you feel more in control. Good luck, thinking of you!


I suspect there are reputable donor agencies, but they give me a bad feeling. Here is a third party making money by having other people donate their eggs. I have heard of agency donors donated 8 times - 4 more than ASRM recommends. I also talked to one clinic coordinator who saw a woman they rejected come through their clinic as an agency donor - the iffy part of her medical history missing.

Personally, I would suggest finding your own. Then you can have a real face-to-face conversation and decide if you like her or not. I think, in person, my donor and I are quite a bit alike. I don't think I would have picked her had I only seen her profile.

I found mine via a friend of a friend - not too close, but a bit of a reference. I have become friends with a lady who answered my ad and would have been my second choice behind the donor I went with.

Good luck!


Oh, hey. One other thing. I mentioned that Seattle clinic. I am going to plug it once more. There is a great clinic here in Spokane, but not many clinic donors.

I had two acquaintances go to the Seattle clinic (pacific fertility?) and they have an 80% DE success rate plus lots of good donors. Both were given a suggestion of at least 5 donors. Both got pregnant with twins. Both cycled quickly.


This whole donor situaton has been such a mess for you. How awful and hard! I wish I had something that would be helpful but I have nothing helpful to add. *shaking fist at universe for making this so hard*

Lisa dg

I have to say- choose a different agency! You need stats- and they are not giving it to you. There are thousands of donors to choose from and it is a buyers market out there. I would be willing to help you search of you need that...


It is amazing how each donor agency is different. I can't believe you can't get the skinny on the success of the subsequent embryos. I think in the end it is best to just go with your instincts. Everyone says that a tried donor is the best, but we ended up using a first time donor. If we have to do it again, I don't know what we will do. I think sometimes it is easier if the decision is made by others. Hope you find the match perfect for you.


Ugh. I'm sorry this is so difficult. xo


This is such a shitty crapshoot and I am so disgusted and outraged at your clinic and the universe for you. I don't know where you are but I'm in Chicago and of course here there are a plethora of agencies. Personally I think clinics that have their own donors have way too much weighted in their favor. I hear you on having to ask your father for money - but I'm glad you were able to so you can keep moving forward. We had that whole competition thing too and didn't move fast enough ( by a millisecond!) for some donors and then had two donors unable to participate at the 11th hour for emergencies or illnesses. Our third was on our original list and we liked a lot about her but didn't feel a soul connection. After our coordinator met her she said she loved her and thought that this was our best donor ( she had met the other two also). There is no moral to this story really. I just wanted to share that I know it's hard. The only info we had on history was if they had cycled before and if there was a pregnancy. But we didn't ask because we went with an untried donor because it was very reasonableb$$$ wise. The agency ended up losing money on us because of all the complications so we at least felt they had kept up their end of the bargain:) sorry to ramble on - I know it's incredibly hard to deal with all these third parties. Sending hope that you will find a donor that you click with and take back some of the control.
And thanks for commenting on my blog with all thst you have going on:) (((())))

the good eggs

Why would the IPs care if future IPs know? I understand not wanting a donor to know, but hiding a donor's track record is a little selfish.


Ugh, people make me fk'n sick. Why withold information from you? I mean, really? What are you going to do other than be better informed and able to make a better decision? Rant over.

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