The Verdict is in

Triploidy. Basically, the baby had 3 sets of chromosomes (69 instead of 46), most likely from letting two sperm instead of the one.  I sort of imagine my old dithery egg getting confused, and forgetting she'd already let one in...

As sad as this could be, it is also actully a relief. My worst fear is that we would have miscarried a genetically normal child.  That would have meant that something was up with my uterus, or blood or something, and that would mean DE would be a more perilous endeavor.

Dr Calm recommends moving on to Donor Eggs, and that is likely where we are headed. Although Dr Google says that Triploidy is not dependant on a mothers age (one of the few), given that we don't know what felled Sparky (likely the translocation, but that is just our 'choice' to believe that in the absence of data), and that I didn't get pregnant with the Donor Sperm in the last IVF, that it's time to cut our losses and jump on the DE train.

Husband and I haven't had any time to talk this over, but I'm assuming that after my cycle in February, we'll be in Lupron land.

I am remarkably relieved.  I was also worried that they wouldn't be able to culture the fetus, that's what happened with Sparky, and to not know twice would be awful.

So come on period!  Let's have one of those nice short cycles you are famous for and get this show on the road.

Comments

[kate]

Whew. Okay. I've been checking frequently, hoping for good news here, and this, in a surreal and relative sort of way, is good news! :>

Glad for you that you got some real data. And would love to see you both soon if you feel like getting together! We've got all kinds of fanciness going on over here...

[Michele]

Oh hon, while I know the news was hard to hear, I'm glad that there is, at the very least, a "reason". Sending lots of hugs...

[meinsideout]

I am glad you got some information this time - I am still so, so sorry and am so pulling for you in whatever you try next.

[Julie Levin]

You sound good - and it makes sense. Having knowledge is empowering.

You may already know this, but as I was reading about natural remedies for peri-menopause symptoms I kept coming across chasteberry - not just for symptom relief, but to improve baby-making chances when you're older. I thought I'd pass that along in case it's useful.

And, as always, I'm thinking big-belly, healthy baby-mama thoughts for you.

[Mo]

Sarah,

As tough as it is, I'm glad you got some definitive news. Our fifth loss was also a triploidy. Thinking of you. Wishing you peace. Why does this have to be so damn difficult?

Mo

[a]

It's good to have a concrete reason. It doesn't make it hurt less, but it's always better to know.

Now, on to the next steps! Good luck.

[cindyhoo2]

Getting an answer is some small comfort.

Come on Aunt Flo, let's get the next successful pregnancy on the road.

[NoodleGirl]

Thank goodness for small favors, huh? I know finding out the reasoning gives some closure; for our first loss we found out definitively that it was a chromosomal issue (balanced translocation) but for the 2nd is was inconclusive, which is really inexcusable with a 9.5 week sample, but I've ranted about that before. Not knowing the reason added to the reasons behind making that 2nd loss so much harder from which to recover.

It still sucks, it's still unfair, but at least you know. I, too, have read that triploidy is just a fluke, nothing about the egg itself. But I so understand the potential warm comfort of DE, after suffering too many losses with your own eggs. I'll be watching for any and all updates as you think this through. Come on Auntie, cooperate for once!

[IF Optimist (Traci)]

I am glad that they were able to get you some results that will help you make your plans for the future, and hopefully provide some closure but I'm sure that it was still really hard on your heart. My sympathies for your little one and a gentle hug for you Sarah. I can't recall if you mentioned whether you checked into donor embryos or not. I thought it may be significantly less expensive and will give a little life the chance they may not have otherwise had.

[Cat]

I'm glad you got an answer and have a plan.

[Good Egg Hunting]

I know how you feel. My fetus had tetraploidy (four sets). It was comforting to have such a definitive diagnosis (I mean there is NO way to rationalize in your head that a fetus with four sets of chromosomes could have somehow made it) and for me this made it possible to stop thinking of it as a baby that died and to think of it instead as a doomed pregnancy from the start. I don't know if that sounds harsh but it helped me a lot with the grieving process. But it's still disturbing to hear the answer, no matter what it is. I hope that this is freeing for you more than anything, and that now that you have a plan (and it sounds like a good one that you're really comfortable with, which is great) you can find energy to pursue that and move on to the extent possible. Thinking of you!

[Me]

It's odd to say "yay" but that is what I was thinking as I read. I think that it is ok to post that...

[Definitionofinsanity.wordpress.com]

The unknown can drive me crazy so I am pleased for you that you have an answer.

Having ventured into the DE world I can tell you that I have no regrets. Sure, it's not easy as it brings a set of complications that otherwise wouldn't be there but if it's the quickest and easiest way to becoming a mum then I saw go for it.

If I can be of any help, please shout.

[jaded]

I'm glad you have answers. I wish you only luck and many fruitful outcomes in your continued journey.

[Heather]

I'm glad you were given some answers, even though they must have been hard to hear. Hopefully that will give you and your husband some closure. I wish you luck on the next part of your journey. Take care.

[Beth]

Thank goodness for an answer, and for a plan. I'm glad you have both! Good luck with the next step!