Sorry for the silence this week. I've been unusually busy, and then yesterday, my back went out, so this will be short so I can return to my little pod o'healing.
We talked to Dr Calm yesterday about the three donors we are considering:
Donor Three: made a lot of eggs, but has low FSH and low LH and so she requires a lot of stimming, and the only pregnancy to result from her three cycles ended in miscarriage. She seems like too much of a risk, and our resemblance is nil. Whew. Nice to have another off the list.
Donor Two: Makes a good amount of eggs, but has only done once cycle. The reason the fresh cycle likely didn't result in a pregnancy is the the recipient had a thin lining. Ok, she gets a pass on that one. However, the doctor said that one of the twins that resulted from the FET has a problem with his tongue, but there weren't any further details, so she was going to dig into that. She said it could be a short frenulum, or something worse, but there were no details. Furthermore, she doesn't look that much like me. I'll just be honest here, she has the wrong sort of eyes. I know, that is sort of vague and not all that useful, but she just looks wrong. However, she is still in the running.
Donor One: Did a cycle in 2002, back with the lab wasn't as good as it is today and they had a positive on the fresh cycle (twins) and a negative on the first FET, and a positive on the third (twins as well, eek!), and there are still two on ice, or not, but there were. If she is interested in doing the cycle, she'll be 32, which our doctor said wasn't a significant difference in terms of downs risk from a 25 year old, and she said that donor performance tends to be pretty consistent. At age 31 her FSH was 6.0 and her antral follicle count was 18, and her e2 was 44. Mostly, she looks right. Not like me, but the eyes are right. They have the right kind of clarity. But the big 'if' is will she perform as well as a 25 year old? Will her egg quality be as good as a 25 year olds? Our doctor seems to think so. She actually said of the three, this donor was her first choice. So, we're sitting with it. I've asked the donor coordinator to contact her and find out if she is still interested in doing cycles, and when she would be available,and then of course, they'd have to do the FSH and antral follicle count business again. And on a cosmic connection level, she shares a birthday with my best friend and my college mentor. It's so amazing how much we want to identify with our donors. Any little snippet feels like a gold mine.
Well, that is all the news I can bear to sit here and impart.
I'm so sorry about your back, ugh! I hope you can take it easy today and it feels better soon.
I'm glad Donor One feels like a good fit. Do you know how soon it'll be until the donor coordinator hears back? Also, if she doesn't stim ideally, are you able to cancel the cycle? Though her FSH/AFC/E2 just last year sound spectacular, so I bet she'll stim really well.
Congrats on getting closer!
Posted by: NoodleGirl | January 23, 2010 at 11:10 AM
It sounds exciting, and I'm with you - Donor #1 sure sounds fantastic. Shall be eagerly waiting to hear what happens next - what sort of timeline are you looking at, at this point? Congratulations on getting to narrow it down a bit - I honestly think that's the most stressful part of the DE thing - choices, choices, too many choices!
Posted by: Sprogblogger | January 23, 2010 at 11:48 AM
Great research. I know for our donor - I picked the same nationality as my DH with similar coloring...and he did not appear to be totally lacking in the brains department.
It is surreal - picking a donor - it made me feel all weird science-y but hey, we want the best for our kid(s), right!!??
Posted by: meinsideout | January 23, 2010 at 12:50 PM
Tough choices. Good luck. I know what you mean about people just not looking right...
Posted by: a | January 23, 2010 at 01:20 PM
Wow (I think I've said this before) - you are amazing. It really shouldn't be this hard for someone who wants a baby of their own to have one. Please know I am praying for you and someday {soon} when you are holding a beautiful baby you will be a source of comfort and inspiration for others.
Posted by: Rebecca | January 23, 2010 at 04:44 PM
Donor #1 sounds great! I can imagine how hard it must be to pick. The little details would drive me crazy. I was thinking the other day that if we use DE for #2, what if they ended up having weird ears? Really so what, of course, but it kind of freaked me out. So I get it about the eyes. Eye color isn't something that we'd worry about, because given dh's genetics, our kids will have dark-eyed children regardless of the maternal contribution, but I get it about the details.
Good luck coming to a decision, and then beyond. Thanks for the update.
Posted by: Sara | January 23, 2010 at 05:44 PM
Which ever Donor you pick, best of luck! I can sympathize with the bad back - can I ever! Hope it gets resolved quickly.
Eb
Posted by: EB | January 24, 2010 at 08:13 AM
I imagine this process to be completely overwhelming, but you make it seem...not overwhelming. Donor 1 sounds like a great fit for you, your DH and your doctor. And yeah, those connections do make a difference! LOL! I hope this process moves along smoothly for you.
Take care!
Posted by: Heather | January 24, 2010 at 10:43 AM
I'm thinking donor one is sending you all the right vibes, although with my couple's recent failed fresh transfer I can't help sympathizing with the other two (but not enough to push them on you). I hope this week's FET results in a beautiful baby so I can relax about my eggs.
Posted by: the good eggs | January 26, 2010 at 06:05 PM