The trouble with having a blog is...

You gotta write stuff on it. Or in it. And to write on it or in it, I need to think about infertility, and there are times when I just wanna not do that. I could write about other stuff, and I imagine I will, but uh, yeah. So. Infertility...

We saw Dr. Calm this morning and we ironed out the details of the next 2 months and the next cycle.  We also did an antral follicle count (little spots on your ovaries that turn into follicles) and I had an average amount (should see between 4 & 6) I had 4 on Righty, a known under producer, and at least 6 if not more on Lefty, my rock.

The plan:

We are going to go an additional month on the DHEA, meaning the next IVF will be in March instead of February.  I'm pretty relieved about that. Of course, I'd like to be having a successful cycle around the time that I would have been giving birth to Sparky, but I'd also just like a little more time off.

I am going to have a follow-up antral follicle count in February to see if the DHEA is having a noticeable effect, as well as an AMH test and another FSH test to see how my ovarian reserve is doing--basically are my eggs getting more and more wizened and should we just chuck it and get some from a fresh young gal. But I get ahead of myself.

As for the medicine itself, Dr Calm is changing it from 150 IU's of Me.nopur to 75 IU's because there was recent study that said too much LH (which men.opur has as part of it's formulation) can encourage a dominant follicle to develop, and thus tell the others to go fuck themselves. She totally said that. No, not really, she's a lady. I will take 375 IU's of Gona.l F, which will bring me up to a total of the follicle stimulating drugs that worked in my two cycles.  I think that there will be some dexamethosone thrown in, but I forgot to ask...

So the positives are that I get some info between now and March, but the downside is, it's IVF. By that I mean, it is a pain to do this at all.  I'm kind of over normalizing it.  It is awful to be infertile.

Also, I am fat. No really, don't talk me out of it.  I'm probably 5 lbs over my heaviest weight ever, and I am not interested in doing We.ight Watch.ers. It works, it's worked for me, and I don't feel like doing it.  I'm thinking of doing the Sou.th Bea.ch Diet. The 3 phase model is appealing. I think I just need a jumpstart.

Also. Pilates. I'm going to call the teacher I've been gonna call for a long time. I just read an article in a pain management journal that talked about something similar to Pilates, with a reformer, and it seems like this is my best chance to get a handle on this back pain crap is a Redcord/Pilates approach.

Also, my 60+ year old osteopath looks hawt, and she's been doing Pilates for a year. 

I'm still waiting for my period--but the verge of tears and the straining at the fat pants make me think that AF is imminent.

Comments

[Eva]

Oh, I know how you feel about the blog. I love my blog but I dread it sometimes. It's hard to write about infertility and failure all of the time, though it can be cathartic, it can also be overrated beccause it makes me feel sometimes that what my whole life is about infertility and my life is about so much more than that. Hang in there, girl. I know thatwe will look back on these days and laugh, right? right? Oh, and btw, my insurance is still giving me nightmares so I think (and it's a long story) that IVF#2 for me will also be in March. Cycle Twins, anyone?

[TinyHead]

i've kind of followed you off and on since BlogHer (found you from uppercasewoman.com). my first pregnancy ended as a miscarriage at the end of august. i want you to know that it has helped to read your blog. my heart has ached for you so many times. you express yourself so much better than I do. also wanted to let you know that i just started southbeach yesterday. i need to lose weight before we try again, which will hopefully be april or may. So far, SB is just okay. I think it will work out well, but it requires WAY more planning than I normally do (maybe that is part of the problem)