It seems like poor design that IVF coincides with one's cycle

Of course, I know it has to, but c'mon. When you are doing a natural micro flare protocol as I am, I get to have the joys of PMS, amplified by stress, in addition to spending a HUGE amount of money on drugs, and looking down the barrel at my last paid-for IVF.  Given the amount of tears I had this morning while listening to NPR, I'm thinking AF is comin' round the mountain.  The Gonal F and ovidril are in the fridge and the menopur is in the guest room. I ain't posting a picture--I'm too jaded for all that.

I picked up my lupron yesterday, and then I had a hard time at work (someone throwing around the idea of egg donation b/c she's in a financial crisis, and it just got me all triggered) and then some more hard stuff, etc. However, most of it was in my head. As it usually is. I saw the Envy monster coming, and noticed how I started to self shred, and realized that I needed a good cry. Luckily my husband was able to hear me say that the envy had gotten me triggered, and even teased me in a very sweet way, and then I say on the (closed) toilet and had a good cry while he showered and talked about his feelings going into this IVF, and listened to me pour out a bit of grief. So we are getting the hang of this thing...yeesh.

I'm doing thanksgiving, and I"m sure I'm grateful for something, but at the moment, it feels like a slog.

More later.

Comments

[Les Make Babies]

I have got to think that since this will be your LAST cycle for a while, your PMS is choosing to go out with a bang so as not to be forgotten.

I say purge all of the grief you can so that you'll go into this next IVF as hopeful as can be.

[Geohde]

I wish you only the very best of luck. Oh and a glass or two of your favourite tipple and some acetominophen or whatever paracetamol is also known as for the lupron headaches :)

xx

J

[Eva]

Um, Happy Thanksgiving? I think that the holiday might be a nice break for both of us. You know I wish you the very best with your upcoming cycle. xo