So, the last two times I've triggered (converted cycle and last cycle), I've been in agony the next day. Today I feel better than I've felt for 3 days. I made shepherds pie and I'm contemplating making bread (I let the bread machine do all the hard stuff and then do the last rise and bake it, so not all that taxing). My ovary's hurt, but not in the excruciating way they did last time.
So of course:
I'm convinced that it is FUBAR and that our second chance is screwed and it is all hopeless and and and fuck. Ya see? this is why sedation is a good idea during IVF. Last cycle had 6 follicles on each ovary that were over 16mm, this time, 4 on lefty and 2 on righty. I know people get pregnant with fewer than that to start with, but out of 14 that fertilized last time, we only had one really kick ass blastcyst. So the numbers are getting to me.
The first person to tell me to relax dies. Ok, not really. Well, maybe a little.
I haven't felt this hopeless in a long time. My big sister reminded me that the hormones might be making me feel extra fragile. I would like to believe I'm bigger than hormones and that these feelings are TRUE SOURCES OF REAL INFORMATION! But then my rational self takes over and I remind myself that I'm just a human, not super human, and I really don't have the ability to resist the crazy making properties of enormous doses of estrogen. Pffft.
So bare with me. I'll try not to be too crazy, but ugh.