I'm so sorry about the lack of posting. I really miss both writing, and responding to
comments from you all!
Ace is doing really well, and may be released from the hospital next week, Juice is making great strides, but he's still on o2 support, so he's staying put for at least 3 weeks, hopefully not more. The thought of him having any significant milestones, especially smiling, with a nurse breaks my heart. The best rationalization I can come up with, developmentally, is that he is in 'nightcare', instead of daycare. But it is a cold comfort. We've missed so many firsts with these boys: first diaper, first bath, caring for their umbillical stumps, and on and on, that the thought of missing anything else is excruciating.
Overall, I am doing well--still carrying all 25 lbs I gained during pregnancy, but hey, they have bigger pants for that problem!
I lovelovelove my babies, and I'm so happy that we stepped off the fertility merry go round and chose this path. As rocky as it has been, there is a lot of joy now, and a lot more to come, and that is what I wanted.
Watching my husband love them, advocate for them, and just generally give his whole heart and soul to parenting them is awe inspiring. It is so wonderful to see that all our loss and pain didn't break us, we can still love deeply.
Happy early valentines day!
***Thanks to "It is what it is" I realized that in a way, it is like an adoptive mom's experience. I have to let go of what I couldn't be there for, and count our experiences as the 'real' ones.
Love you guys!
It is so lovely to hear from you but best of all to see them! So good to know they are progressing.
And, just remember, even if a nurse gave them a bath etc, there still will be their firsts at home with you and THOSE are the firsts that count and will matter to them :)
Posted by: It is what it is | February 09, 2011 at 08:54 AM
It's so great to hear from you - and to see those beautiful boys!
"It is what it is" is so right - it is the firsts that you all share together that will matter most!
Posted by: Rebecca | February 09, 2011 at 09:49 AM
Just look how cute they are! So glad they are doing so well.
Posted by: Debby Pucci | February 09, 2011 at 09:49 AM
They are gorgeous. I cant wait til they get home!!!
Posted by: Michele | February 09, 2011 at 11:11 AM
Those are some beautiful babies you got there. And sp much ahead of you, that you'll do all together. Hang in there!
Posted by: Cat | February 09, 2011 at 11:40 AM
I love seeing pix of your boys (and I'm totally not biased by the fact that I have a boy myself...really)!
You know we suffer so many losses as infertiles and the loss of the "firsts" is just one more set of losses you have to deal with. So, I understand how it can break your heart a little to hear about your sons' firsts that happened without you there to see it, too. But, as you said, that doesn't make the first smile YOU see, the first bath YOU give them any less incredible and wonderful.
Happy Early Valentine's to you and your whole family!
Posted by: Summer | February 09, 2011 at 12:22 PM
So pleased to hear from you. They look like they're doing great. And I agree with PP - first times are only really special when its first time experienced by their mom!
I work and my nanny gets to see much more of the kids firsts than I do now, since they have one each day! I asked her not to tell me and let it be a surprise.
Posted by: Emma | February 09, 2011 at 02:42 PM
They are so beautiful! Swoon.
It's lovely to hear from you. Obviously I understand why you've been quiet, but I was happy to see this post pop up.
I'm sorry that you've missed so many firsts. I hope they're home with you soon.
Posted by: Sara | February 09, 2011 at 03:38 PM
At first I thought you hadn't posted a picture, but I am so glad you did! They are such handsome little men. I am so glad to hear that they are doing well!!
It is hard to have so many of their firsts be with someone else. But as all the above have said, it's that it YOUR first with them that will make it special. While I was sad that J's umbilical stump came off and he had his first bath in the NICU, we still took pics of his first bath at home with us.
I hope that both get to go home really soon and that they continue to may you and your hubby proud with all their great strides!! :)
Posted by: Brenda | February 09, 2011 at 06:17 PM
They're beautiful! And anytime anyone else wants to change a diaper, let them - you'll get plenty (and it's not like the first one is any better than the last one. Actually, the last one is better because you're experienced, and you'll be happy never to do it again!)
Posted by: a | February 09, 2011 at 06:26 PM
Oh they are yummy and adorable and look like they are growing! I love the angel draped over the two of them - so sweet. You will have so many wonderful firsts with your boys, and I agree with Brenda: there will be a first bath at home. And a first smile aimed at their mommy. There will be sweet moments in rocking chairs and so many kisses that that you won't remember a time without them. Honest. Happy Valentine's Day to you too!
Posted by: BWUB plus one | February 10, 2011 at 08:23 PM
Lovely lovely babies. Tender moments. Heart swelling love! Isn't mommyhood / parenthood grand? Sorry you can't have them home yet:(
I loved seeing S advocate for Id
Sobel! Your husband sounds like a great papa bear too!
Happy Valentines day too!
I am grateful every day for the beauty of donor eggs! Yay!
Posted by: Tireegal | February 10, 2011 at 10:38 PM
Happy Valentines Day Dee! Your boys are so beautiful.
Posted by: reese | February 12, 2011 at 09:48 AM
What a beautiful photo!! I know your hearts are full of so much love. xoxo
Posted by: Calliope | February 13, 2011 at 05:14 PM
Oh the cuteness of those two! The little noses kill me - so cute! Too cute. Isn't it just wonderful to see your man in that light - as a father? I love to see my husband with our daughter - he's such a piece of mush!
Posted by: Jessica | February 17, 2011 at 07:28 AM