Thanks so much for all the support. Saturday was really rough. I did a lot of weeping, and a lot of corresponding with other who've 'been there'. I had a good talk with a friend, and then had fajitas. Pretty much a recipe for health and happiness. Oh, and a margarita, but Husband and i aren't sure if there was any alcohol in them...However, it was good.
We spent a lot of time looking at the donors, and were getting nowhere fast. Husband liked one, who rationally seemed like a good choice, but looked so little like me that I felt all sorts of crazy at the thought of using her. Just to be clear "looks like me" at this point just means shares my ethnic heritage and has blue eyes and blond hair. The end. I gave up on finding my clone long long ago. When I woke up on Monday, I was feeling quite 'stabby' and like I was going to be pushed into choosing this donor because she made the most sense! Well, she took care of that--she didn't update her address when she did her yearly updated and it turns out she's living out of the country! Hello! A huge weight lifted and I realized just how blotted out I felt at not even putting my coloring into the mix. Oy. This is one crazy undertaking.
Anyhoodle, we managed to extract a 5 day 'right of first refusal' on the donor at our clinic. As I said before, she is all ready to go, even on BCP's as we speak (as am I, boy howdy to I hate BCP's). Our clinic gave us until Friday to make the decision--we would stop our pills on Friday, and then have our period the week of the 26th,and then Lupron suppression would start around May 4th. If I don't manage to ovulate or make a cyst (Sprogblogger did it, it could happen--I am queen of the cysts while on hormonal birth control), retrieval would be around the 17th, and transfer around the 24th! I must admit, the idea of that schedule make me very very happy.
It would, of course, mirror the cycle when I got pregnant with Sparky in '08, which makes me feel...a bit sad I guess.
We were planning to have a bit blow out party for Husband's 40th on June 5th, but we might push that back a week, in case I'm pregnant, or not pregnant, ya know?
So, the clock is ticking! I sent an email to our previous donor thanking her for two of the best months of my lift, and the joy and hope I got to feel again. I really meant it. Of course I wished it had all come together, but it was great to feel nomal-ish again.
I cadged some additional questions from another donor site to send along to our clinics donor. Hopefully, we'll feel a little more connected to her.