I am so FRUSTRATED! ARGH!
Those you you who read the last post know I finally swallowed my pride, and asked for money so that we could use an agency donor. Well, one thing I didn't anticipate is that the intended parents get to control how much information is shared about their cycle. Basically it can go all the way from number of eggs retrieved and mature and fertilized and frozen and pregnant or not to "Yes, she did a cycle."
One of the donors I'm interested in had 30 eggs retrieved, but the intended parents won't release any information beyond that! WHAT THE FUCK????????????????????????? Hello? It's not like I'll be able to know jack about you just by knowing that? But geeze, she's basically useless to me because I don't know anything about her cycle! The other donor that is available through that agency is just not as resonant for me. However, I know myself, once I start thinking about a donor, I get invested. So she'll probably be "Miss Wednesday"
Husband and I met just when internet dating was starting up, so I never directly experienced the 'agony of the profile.' But this is REALLY giving me a taste of it, and it takes like SHEEIT.
I know that there is no perfect donor. I am so tired of being thwarted at many turns along the way. Hopefully we'll get some one pinned down, and I can stop feeling so ungrounded.
I did decide to take on the new work project, and luckily, it's picking up very quickly, so that will be a nice distraction!