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February 02, 2010

Comments

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Rachel

Oh, I am so sorry. I definitely understand what you mean by a delay between cycling seeming to escalate from a trivial scheduling problem to a huge disappointment. I really hope your donor comes through for you soon.

Heather

First off, I'm so sorry about your cat. I hope you are able to get to the bottom of things soon with her. I am a cat person myself, so I totally get where you are coming from. When our cat Fiscus was diagnosed with lymphoma we got chemo for her. We were newly married and broke, but we still did it. She lived 7 more years. I still miss her.

I kind of know how you are feeling about being bitter and such. I am so sick and tired of going on circles that I don't think I can take much more. I need to get on a train that is moving forward.

I hope you get good donor news soon. Waiting sucks! Sucks! Sucks!

Take care.

Sprogblogger

I don't think you're being unreasonable or PMSy at all. Damn, there are times when EVERYTHING just feels stacked against us, and this sure is one of them. Hoping for the best for your kitties - pets are all that hold me together some days, I can only imagine how powerless and scared you must be feeling - and I so want things to just go smoothly for you for a while. Hoping that the donor & co-recipients can all get their acts together soon and well. Thinking of you and wishing for a run of GOOD things to balance out this last crappy week or two (or three, or thirteen.)

Eva

It's just so damn unfair. I right there with you with all of the anger and feelings of powerlessness. When is this BS going to end? Sorry about the kitty; I know that sucks too. Let it all hang out. That's what the blog is for. xo

Cindyhoo2

Ok. I hear you loud and clear. I find myself feeling jealous of people who get pg on their 1st IVF because in my mind they got pg "easily." IF can bring out the worst and angriest parts of ourselves. It has taken my some time to truly embrace this truth but "it is honestly and truly OK and healthy to get angry sometimes!" my friend you have more than your share of good reasons right now: m/c, on-going ED roadblocks, beloved pet problems and grief. I am so sorry and I wish there were something I could do to help.

I don't know if you are open to this or not but there is a large embryo donor registry located near me in Nashville TN. I believe they ship to most any state. You can google the registry if you are interested. I forget the name and no longer have the link as they are not open to allowing same-sex partners to adopt embies.

Rebecca

Wow, many prayers for you. And never apologize loving an animal or mourning them or worrying about them - they aren't 'just' cats or dogs, they are part of our families and our lives and the love for them is no less important than the love for another person.
I am so grateful for you that you have so many others who can relate, though, I'm not grateful for any of you that you have to suffer this pain of IF. My prayers are with each of you.

Sara

I'm so sorry about your kitty. I hope she pulls through and that nobody else gets infected.

Your feelings are understandable and "normal." I realize that doesn't make it any better, but sadly, jealousy is just part of the IF deal. It sucks.

I hope next week is better.

Calliope

oh the jealousy. I so know that flavor. It sucks ass. I am slowly catching back up on blogs after being sick and I am just so irked on your behalf about the donor stuff. As if you needed another level of chaos or another setback. I am so sorry.

And the kitty news? Oh honey. I will be hoping for the best. xoxo

Michele

oh hon... I'm sorry. sending hugs...

Sweet Georgia

Hi. Just found your blog through a comment of yours on Maddy's blog. Sorry to hear about your cat(s), hopefully everyone's on the mend soon. I'm moving to DE - we're scheduled for April of this year - and I can completely relate to your thoughts on jealousy. I find myself being swept away with it at times and then beating myself up over it later.

Beth

Jeez- how many bad things does the universe think she can pile on you all at once? You have every right to feel bitter and bitchy! Anyone who wouldn't feel that way at this point must simply be numb from one thing heaped on another, on another, etc. I think I would have cracked quite a while ago.

And yeah, "she's a cat and cats die," but when your cats are relying on you for their health and safety, and their health is threatened, it HURTS! You do all you can to take care of them, and somehow it's not always enough. Not to assume anything about you, but I know at least one of my cats was a substitute for a baby after a failed IVF (how many of us have done that- adopted a pet in response to an IF failure?). If anything happened to him, I would probably take it almost as hard as if it happened to my own human-child.

Anyhow, I want you to know that I think you're totally justified in feeling bitter and bitchy. And I hope everything in your life takes a turn for the better so this can be just a brief phase. I wish your back and your cats a speedy recovery. And I hope everything works out perfectly with your preferred donor so I can volunteer to throw a shower for you next year.

the good eggs

I want to understand your feelings about powerlessness...I HATE relying on other people for anything. But I'm not going to say I do understand your feelings, because boy do I not know where to start. And who needs them to be understood anyway? A listener is enough.

What is a mock cycle? You mentioned the other couple would have to do one first.

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