This is what I repeat to myself when I start to get anxious about the viability of this pregnancy. It isn't any sort of guarantee, but it is what I have to hold onto at the moment.
As far as symptoms go, Dr Google assures me that until 6 weeks, I can't expect to have too many. I am beyond bloated, it's really quite, uh, impressive. And from the TMI stand point, my tail pipe emissions have prompted my husband to note that this is going to be a long 9 months. It doesn't really seem to matter what I eat, the result is the same--body is doing it's best to extract every last molecule of nutrients from my food. And it is, in its own way reassuring.
I am eagerly awaiting the onslaught of breast tenderness, but keep reminding myself that when I was pregnant with Sparky I was extremely bloated, all over, from being on the verge of hyper stimulation from the IVF cycle, and that at about 7 weeks, my breasts REALLY started to hurt, and get veiny and the transformation of the nips was astounding (pinkish brown to purple). They have been getting progressively more tender and a sleep bra has been included, so there is some way I can reassure myself.
I'm also intermittently nauseas. If I eat a piece of toast first in the morning, I'm fine, but if I don't, not so fine. The worst is afternoon--it seems like whatever I've eaten earlier backs up, and just sits there. Also, do not offer me anything with cinnamon. I love cinnamon, but it can make me nauseated in a nanosecond. My husband likes chai tea, and to me, it just smells horrible. Aside from that, the bionic sniffer isn't too strong. But certain things taste more bitter to me than usual, and that is oddly reassuring. I'm also having heartburn on and off, so that seems positive. I'm also getting a wee bit of insomnia. I'm not anxious, or hungry or anything, but I'm awake at odd hours of the night and cant get back to sleep.
One thing that hasn't happened, so far, that happened by day 5 of my pregnancy with Sparky, was brown spotting. I haven't had a speck of spotting, brown or otherwise, and I'm hoping that trend continues. I do have the afternoon endo.metiran gush, which gives me a few hours of stress. But I keep reminding myself that if it were blood, and it were that thin and gushy, I'd know immediately. The brown stuff is more like sludge, and doesn't' give you any warning.
One other unfortunate thing is that I'd let my weight sort of pile up. I was planning to go back to a lower carb way of life during the ramp up part of the DE cycle, and increase my Pilates workouts (from about 0 to at least 2) so that I'd be in a better place with my body if I got a positive out of the DE cycle. Best laid plans etc. So I'm starting this pregnancy in my fat pants. And let me tell you, with all the bloating, there has been some rubber-band button action already. Ugh. I bought a pair of pretty stretch cords earlier in the week, so hopefully I can make them last through at least week 8 (which is the week we found out that Sparky had died, so that's gonna be a bit of a nail biter for us). And I do have maternity jeans, but they require a longer shirt. I'm clearly not going on a diet, but oy. I'm not a big fan of the Bella band--it just feels awkward and lumpy.
I can't believe that tomorrow is the 1 week anniversary of getting my first ever positive HPT, and that lovely high HCG number. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say my worry level is about a 4. For me, this is practically Zen detachment. I find myself excited, and hopeful more often than I imagined I could ever be. What a difference a year and a half, and heck of a lot of grieving has made.