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Sock it too Me 2009!

« Moratorium | Main | The road not traveled, heck the road hardly even considered »

March 13, 2009


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Mo and Will

Deep thoughts there that I will have to keep pondering. I'm especially intrigued by your comparison to terminal pts. Prior to this year, I spent the five years previous working with terminal cancer patients, some of whom were acutely aware of their own imminent annhilation, more of whom had fluctuating awareness of it. And even more interesting, I worked with a few young women, who grieved both their own inevitable deaths, but in addiiton, the secondary loss that they would not be able to conceive (the two women I am thinking of ultimately had to have their ovaries removed as their cancer advanced, and both fought this as long as possible, even though it may have hastened their own deaths). The possibility that one may not be able to bear a child burns deeply into the human psyche (for some of us, not for all; I know others who do not feel this drive).

I can't come up with much that is articulate to say at this moment. But thank you for posting this. It is very, very interesting food for thought.

I hope you have a great time away.



As I said before, I like that it doesn't trivialize the loss of the genetic connection. Being a mom does not make it all better - they are two separate issues.

Thanks for posting this.


I come away thinking how can I read this, so carefully and beautifully explaining, and still not understand as fully as I should. What up w/the limits of my comprehension? One thought: I have always characterized (to myself in my head) the grief of women struggling w/infertility as bottomless. But it seems like you have found bottom, or a way to touch bottom and push yourself back up.

Lisa DG

It is with many tears that I read this. No words can describe the grief that I feel right now. You have touched a cord in me that I did not want to look at or feel- the elephant, the 500 pound gorilla in the room- the unthinkable becoming real. Thank you for making me face this bitterness.


This is possibly one of the *best* blog posts I've read in my entire life. I'm almost in tears - from relief.


My heart aches for your experience. I love you.

Not On Fire

I read your post several days ago and was blown away by it. I came back to comment. I have to say that I was moved by your ideas and your experience. I had now come to terms with being a DE Mum, but it rang so true. Thanks.

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