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« Arrested Development | Main | Fertility Revisted »

December 19, 2008

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kate

I get the whole disconnection-from-a-non-bio-child fear; I think it's natural, especially when it comes along with the required shift in your plan for your life-- it's a lot to take on and the negative aspects, real or imagined, seem to speak louder during those times.

However, I have always known that you would love your child completely because it would be your child, no matter how that child comes to be. In fact, a hard-won child only stands to be that much more precious to you for all you went through to find her.

Skip over the next part in your mind for a second and imagine the moment when you know, for real, no kidding, no chance of a surprise reversal, that you are going to be a mother. A baby is placed in your arms, and she is yours. I bet you a million dollars (I'd bet more, but with the economy the way it is...) that in that moment, all your fears will fly out the window (replaced by new ones, I'm sure, like college funds and sniffles and dust mites... um, okay, I'll stop freaking you out anew), and you will just be in love with your precious baby, your very own, and you'll feel closer to her than you thought possible, no matter how she came to you.

Because of how she came to you.

All of that will simply be part of the new, as-yet-unwritten story of how you became a family.

Love,

k

Geohde

I like concrete plans. I like backup plans.

I admire how the two of you are handling this,

J

Cat

I'm glad you have a plan in place. Dex was part of my protocol, too, but my info sheet said it was to prevent my body from rejecting my embryo.

Hang in there.

Eve

i'm pretty sure i'm not supposed to have an opinion, and i'm pretty sure it's not about me, but i am all for giving donor eggs a shot. mostly because i know you'll love any baby that winds up in your care and because i am not at all patient. and you have been waiting a long-ass time. which is an understatement. an extreme understatement. xo and love your way.

thalia

Came over on Geohde's recommendation. I'm really sorry about what's happened to you.

I did want to say re DHEA that given the way it works, 2 months isn't long enough before your next cycle, you'd want to be taking it for 3 cycles and then the IVF cycle, or 4 cycles before iVF if you want to stop before you start stimms. My experience with it is good, so I'd encourage you to give it a full try. Aurelia at 'no matter how small' credits DHEA for her most recent pregnancy (which is now 9.5 months old!).

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