After my period started on Tuesday I was in a whirlwind. I had been expecting the first week of the cycle to be this week (the 12th), and I'd scheduled an important project wrap up for the 14th. However, I'd heard such horror stories about lup.ron, and the whole week of monitoring last cycle was such a roller coaster, I decided to move my work thing up, and now it is over and I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I thought Lup.ron was giving me a headache, but it clearly seems to have been tension because one I finished the project, my neck was about 100x less tense. The lup.ron shots are easy peasy--I love an insulin needle. I'm doing 300IU's of Gona.l F in the morning along with 10 units of Lup.ron and then another 10 of loopy and 150 of Meno.pur. It isn't that I necessarily want side effects, lord knows they sound awful, but one of my crazy worries is that no matter how much I do, my body won't respond, and the side effects seem like at least you would know your body is responding. However, that is just foolishness, and I'm going to make myself stop it...oy.
I have been very disciplined about doing the shots every 12 hours. The last two nights we went out to dinner with our house guest and I brought my dorky insulated lunch pail packed with pre-filled vials, and ice pack and alcohol wipes. At exactly 9 I've gone into the ladies and shot up. I don't know if this will make the cycle more successful, but it's obsessive protection, and that's worth something. I feel pretty positive about it at the moment, but if Tuesday's scan isn't positive I'm going to be bumming hard.
This morning when I pulled my 300Iu's out of the Gona.l F bottle I was perplexed at why there was so much there, so I called the pharmacist. It turns out that there is always extra, not always double,but always extra. However, premixing my meno.pur 2 hours prior to taking it was not a Genius idea. Luckily I refrigerated it, but in addition to bacteria that could build up and give me an injection site infection, the medication could have started to break down. She was either not too concerned about it, or was softening the blow, but she thought a 2 hour lag wasn't a huge risk. I tell you if I go in on Tuesday and there is nothing there, I'm going to lose my sh*t. Not at them, but at myself and the feeling that I always screw up some part of things (not everything,but something like this!) So from now on, carry meds in their original bottles, do your mixing etc on the spot, even if it is in a tiny bathroom with nothing to balance my stuff on...oy.
Today is mothers day and i don't feel particularly freaked out. The fact that my family doesn't have much of a tradition around mother's day must be part of what makes it easier. Also, I'm so much less raw than I've been in years past, but overall, it has never been one of my hot button times.
I'm not having many big exciting thoughts. I am hell bent for egg retrieval, and then I'll start dreaming beyond it for a postive beta. But if you don't retrieve eggs, you can't get pregnant (at least with IVF)!