Oy, my ovaries. I never did a medicated IUI before, and I must say, it is involved. My uterus feels sore and full. Hmmm.
Even though we didn't make it to retrieval, I sure made it to severe ovarian pain. Youch.
Physically one of the hardest things about this cycle is that there is an incredible amount of progesterone circulating in my body, making my breasts very sore, and yet it doesn't fill me with hope that this cycle will work. In the mind fuck cycles of last year, I was ecstatic to have sore breasts and heartburn, this time I just feel wary.
Last night I put in my first progesterone suppository--not awful or anything, but weird. I had lots of get up and go this morning, but now I'm sleepy--again, portents and signs are useless.
When I was waiting for my IUI on Monday I witnessed a rare thing: A woman who got pregnant by IVF who thought everyone would be ecstatic for her. She told everyone who walked in, and talked about it endlessly to the receptionists. On one hand I wanted her to shut the fuck up, on the other, I was impressed (not even sarcastically) with her sense of entitlement to her pregnancy. I know that one issue a lot of successful infertility bloggers struggle with is what to do when they get pregnant--who are they now. I hope that if I get pregnant in this process that I can strike a balance between feeling entitled to my happiness, and being respectful of what others are going through.
Off to take a nap, or go to the grocery store, or fold laundry. Or take a nap.